WOW! where do I begin? I am 51 1/2, a widow, mother of 2 wonderful children who have given me ups and downs throughout their lives. I have 5 terrific grandkids, and finally, THE LOVE OF MY LIFE! DAVID and have just bought the first HOME of my life.
I was married for 24 years when I lost my husband to cancer. (6 years ago) He was a good man who had a hard life, and more troubles than I ever knew about. I think the years leading up to his death were years filled with depression, pain and fear. He was hurt at work in this 30's and never went back to the work force. I was a stay at home mom, who had just started working part time at the local elementary school where my kids attended. He was getting some assistance from the worker comp. ins. but that was not enough.
SO, over the years, I returned to school, got better and better jobs. Took a couple of steps back, but eventually landed a good job. All this time. being the only working parent in the family. RJ took over at home, but still, things were just not right.
I had changed alot over those years too. I had outgrown him I guess. We had alot of marital striff, and neither of us was happy. But we stayed together...why I don't know.
Our kids were unhappy because we were unhappy. They were good kids, but filled with pain too, and no direction! They saw Mom working hard and keeping us together, but Dad was not an example to live by and he was unhappy and took out his anger on them....our daughter more than our son.
I had made a desicsion to start my life over, away from RJ. He could have the trailer we lived in. He could have it all. I just wanted out.
But I did not!
Cancer!
Who could leave someone that has just heard that word?
So I stayed.
RJ only lived another year and half. ( he was 45) He actually did not die from the cancer, but a side effect from the treatment. I mourned his loss as any wife would,and I mourned for my kids too, and my new grand son and daughter. TS P was adored by POPPA and EES was too young to remember him, but they would never really know him, how much he loved them.
I mourned and went on.....I worked too many hours. But I decided I was too young to be alone...to not have fun anymore. So I started going out with girls from work, going to the movies, alone sometimes...I took dance classes, I shopped and bought a computer too.
I met a few people online....ladies and men. we talked, shared and laughed. I met a lady who made my sons wedding cake. I even went out on a few dates with online friends.
BUT then>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>. to be continued!